I have mentioned before that this blog space isn’t solely for style ideas.
What brought the impetus to begin this journey was the need to speak my mind about the rampant body hate that honestly seems like an epidemic.
Skinny girls feel bad about themselves because they are called names that point out their waif-like proportions.
Plus sized girls get flack for being lazy, gluttons for food and unfit because they own more body volume.
The girls in the middle don’t feel like they are Enough either. They don’t feel slim or skinny enough, or voluptuous enough.
No matter how you look, you will be judged. That’s plain sad.
I have been there – skinny, slim, big.
When I was skinny, people asked me if I was ill and would force me to eat when I ate a fair bit already! But the perspective of the onlooker has changed. Where they once said I ate much too little, I now apparently eat too generously.
My appetite hasn’t reduced or doubled, it’s been the same. The proportion of food has not increased. The difference is : I no longer hide. I no longer eat like a sparrow in public and then eat proper amounts in private to avoid being judged. I no longer eat proper meals only to purge them like clockwork after mealtimes. I no longer feel starved, edgy or miserable because I am not taking protein shakes as substitutes for lunch and dinner.
Today, I have my 3 meals and allow myself to enjoy each one. Sure, I do indulge as everyone does..but I do not go crazy, that’s never been me. Even if I do have a sizeable amount say during Christmas season, I balance it out and it’s no struggle getting the holiday bulge gone that way.
The next time someone points out a problem they have with your weight, just tell them you are happy with the way you look and if they have a problem with it, it’s their issue not yours. If they come with the ‘compassionate’ phrase of ‘but We worry about your health’, do tell them to take care of themselves for they worry too much 🙂
Im not saying you need to gain the upper hand in such conversations. Im saying that you should not have to feel small because of things people say.
That’s right, they’re just ‘things’. At the end of they day, they go back to their own lives and you go back to yours. Where you know what’s best for you, where you keep yourself chirpy in your bubble, where you find sense in figuring the world out and how you’d like to live in it.
A healthy life begins with a healthy state of mind, a healthy dose of humour and patience. Banish the diet culture, bring in some happy juju. We worry far too much. I know this firsthand 😉
In my case, my need to shave off a few pounds has a lot to do with my family’s history. With a rich mix of diabetes, cancers and heart diseases, one cannot play around with their health. Added to the fact that I am an asthmatic and was born with compromised immunity (whatever that means..).
But this time round, Im not in a mad rush. Because I have the resolve to get to the finish line with jubilance. Everytime I lost weight prior to this attempt, it was for the wrong reasons and done in the wrong ways. So I lost the weight but was SO unhappy. I didn’t enjoy the process. I felt empty, edgy, angry at the world and Very hungry. I wouldn’t maintain the weight for long because the rebel in me would arise and retaliate against the need to subscribe to a specific body size for happiness to enter my life.
I used to be livid at the rebel. After a while, I resigned myself to hiding when the rebel was unleashed. I was confused and disillusioned; it made every failure weaken my morale. I gave up. That was in late 2008.
5 years on, I have learnt invaluable lessons from that rebel. I am letting go of that person inside that was created by societal and parental pressure. The rebel is who I really am. She stands for listening to what the heart says. The heart speaks sensibly, while the mind often gives off fallacies and illusions, and tells you about the should-could-would things. Thank goodness that I have always been someone who wears her heart on her sleeve.
I can assure you of one thing : Although change is a constant, People fight it constantly. So when you put your rebel boots on and refuse to be walked over, people will dislike you and may not speak to you. This is when you weed out the good souls from the lousy vampires. This is when you have to stand your ground and say : This is Me. Take it or Leave it.
So don’t hide.
Don’t apologise or feel bad. Don’t echo what they say in your head. Empty vessels make the most noise, remember that.
I believe that at our very core, we do know how to lead the best possible lives. We ourselves have the answers. It just takes some digging. We’ve got some Soul searching and roadblocks to manoeuvre around first. And it can be frustrating when you see the path clear as day, but it’s riddled with complications.
Keep at it anyway.
Because you matter. and don’t you forget that.
Sending my love, let those curves become you 🙂