It’s been close to a year since I started this blog. The whirl of changes within me has been immense. It is an ongoing journey towards plus size confidence. But I am confident that it will remain a fruitful one.
I know it’s a cliche but it is so true – it is the journey and not the destination that moulds you.
I have fallen on and off the healthy lifestyle bandwagon but each stumble has led me to a new place of self discovery. That has been the most fulfilling part of the journey by far.
Let’s be honest here – I have a long way to go. There is so much I need to learn & experience through my good times and bad.
Quite often, my bad times have been linked to being body conscious. But where it used to be an intense and almost destructive reaction, I now find myself taking a moment to sit and think things through.
I am an introspective person by heart, and an introverted soul. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am driven by passion, compassion. Often, it can be misconstrued in person as exasperation or anger – but the core of the matter is, I am adapting to these changes within. It still is the dark night of the soul, since the transient nature of these changes are still in effect. But the dark night of the soul brings much needed enlightenment and some validation for when I walk in the right path.
The right path?
That’s the one where I get to a place where I know that I am taking optimal care of myself. I am not talking about weight loss here. That’s just something I am required to do in order to be more physically mobile, because of my chronic foot injuries.
See the thing is, life was never a bed of roses. I have seen and been through immense pain. Now that I have graduated past those events, it is time to heal. But the scars within are old and deep. I have uncovered the proverbial band aid and am applying the salve, waiting for the stinging to subside.
I don’t hate what I see in the mirror anymore. I have come to like the reflection before me but I would like to see some changes to it.
And that, is the place I stand at right now.
Making those changes, Taking more leaps of faith like the ones I made in the darkness that almost consumed me in my teens and my 20s.
So basically what I am trying to say is,
I am beginning to have a little faith in Me.
Through this blog, I hope that you follow me through this journey and see the leaps & bounds that can be done when mind is put over matter.
Here’s to all my big bodacious girls,
who like me are tired of losing their way.
Who have decided to flip the finger at the unreasonable beauty standards placed before us, to tell the beauty magazines that They Are Wrong.
You are Enough.
You always have been enough.
And if you need a reminder, I am here to tell you that Nothing can stop you from finding that courageous voice from within to stop the fat shaming and stop the self hate.
all my love,
Aarti Olivia Dubey xxxo