Note – Occasionally, my mind comes up with random monologues. I’m sharing one with you today. It might come across as utter rubbish to you, but this is what was running across my brain’s hyper typewriter.
Whether we are aware or purposefully ignorant, there are wars waging.
Waging across borders. Fighting for spaces, to own these places. “They are rightfully ours”, both sides say, while bombs plunder their way.
Innocence is lost when a child needs to grow up faster than she/he should.
When an adult shakes a child into a world beyond toys and the play ground.
There is a weaker sense of self in the world today. Everyone is busy forging individuality and a unique sense of identity but they forget to be humane along the way. To show compassion to themselves and each other.
Women are fighting for their rights more than ever. The rights over their body, the rights over their existence. The right to choose a same sex partner, the right to demand a less male-oriented society.
Men are made fun of if they don’t live up to masculinity’s expectations. Men are fighting to have autonomy over their sexuality, their gender roles.
Faces merge into other faces when they have been pulled, poked, injected, filled. Real faces lose to artifice.
Bodies are screened on multidimensional levels. Colour, skin tone, tautness, glamour. We feel shame, repulsion, envy, guilt.
I have a war waging within me that is in synchronicity with other beating hearts. I have words surging forth my lips and they shout :
“I refuse to allow my body to be a battleground.
I will not apologise for my body.
I will not be rendered either invisible or an eyesore.
I will love the innocence left in me.
I will revel in my silliness and bursts of laughter.
I will allow myself to grow in leaps and bounds.
I will take the time to reflect upon humanity and what that means to me.
My actions no matter how minute or large, are significant. We are not nobodies.
I will let love in and allow to love and be loved.
I will not pressure myself to lead an existence according to standards created by Society – a group of people who do not know me and therefore do not know what is best for me. Their guidelines were never meant to be compulsory cardinal rules.
I refuse to allow my body to be a battleground because I am no longer waging a war with myself. I am learning to forgive, heal and win my mind, body, spirit over with love.
My spark will no longer be dimmed.