how have you been?
Thank you for your pre-holiday comments, was so sweet of you 🙂
The holiday was everything I hoped for – relaxing, rejuvenating.
I am so glad that I took a social media break during the holiday. One thing I can’t switch off however is my think tank 🙂
I pondered about how highly strung I had become this year. I have thought up of a few timely reminders for myself and maybe you might need them too if you find yourself in such a quandary. Like the title says – these are not epiphanies. But, they are enlightening all the same.
Self Care = Self Love
It’s such a basic thing right?
Between responsibilities like tending to the home, pets and work demands, blog posts and personal goals..it can get pretty cramped. On the occasion that I do get time to myself, I spend it mulling over stuff.
It’s the little things.
I ask myself, whatever happened to the Happy kiddo ?
The holiday really drove that message home. I don’t do things that make me happy and get so caught up being an adult. Yes that comes with the territory as age catches up on us but the thing is, there are some of us who will always be kids at heart. And I like that about myself.
Splashing about in the pool, laughing hard from silly antics of the hubster, cracking jokes and bouncing around to the tunes in my head. Let that wild child out! Let that freak flag fly! Do cartwheels .. Unless like me, your back just isn’t what it used to be hahaha..then do something else!
The week leading up to the holiday, I attended a concert performed by a very old friend of mine and her fellow police force buddies. You’d think cops are all about police duty and protecting the streets but not these guys! They knew how to have fun..whilst nabbing criminals on the side 😉
Music is such a soul soother.
Why have I not indulged myself in a few concerts this year? What was I waiting for?
You don’t need permission to have a good time. You know how it is. Oh we work so hard and at the end of the week we say, ah I deserve this break. Why don’t we deserve good times everyday? Why don’t we deserve to recline and relish quiet moments?
I am sure some of you are a lot more adept at these seemingly simple ways to unwind but it eludes me more often than I like. Just like we have alarm clocks to remind ourselves that morning has broken, why don’t we have alarms to remind us to take chill pills?
Don’t apologise for your idea of fun.
Maybe among a group of friends, there is a majority that prefers to have fun by going clubbing, dance parties etc. Maybe they like sporty activities and marathons. And you just go along with what the majority votes for because noone likes a stick in the mud.
You don’t have to feel bad about passing up on doing things that frankly, don’t rock your boat. So even if I am the only one who likes really old big band jazz, spoken word performances, creative writing workshops, movies with drama that unfold slowly, practicing meditation, having a one woman writer’s retreat .. I have got to stop feeling like I am not fun or hip enough. I have plenty of hip, lol! I am full of quirks and am quite silly!
Having ‘Do Nothing’ breaks.
I mean it. I tried it over the holiday – switched my phone off, shut the door, turned off the tele and just told myself to quit thinking about everything under the sun for 10 minutes. Just living in that very moment and paying homage to the power of stillness.
Affection is so underrated.
Why do babies like being held?
Why do animals like being cuddled?
Why do we crave physical intimacy?
Because touch can invoke different feelings. We don’t just feel by watching a sad scene in a movie or hearing a soulful melody. We feel with all of our senses. It’s like inhaling the smell of freshly cut grass or damp soil after the rain that takes you back to moments in time. It’s like the taste of homemade cooking that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
A shoulder wrapped by an arm.
Hands on your waist.
Your head on someone’s chest.
An affectionate peck on the cheek.
I am an immensely affectionate person by nature. The pets are constantly being smooched, cuddled, massaged, having their bellies rubbed.
But I have become more guarded with my fellow humans over the years. You try not to let the world harden you, but it is inevitable at times. I stiffen when hugged, I feel uncomfortable when someone holds my hand (hubster excluded most of the time). I keep a safe physical distance from people. Perhaps social anxiety and depression has a hold on my affections. I don’t trust easily.
During the holiday, I let the hubster hold me tight and hug me without getting all robotic stiff. I watched the sunset by the pool with his arm wrapped around my waist. It felt comforting..as someone who enjoys giving affection, it’s nice to allow yourself to receive it from loved ones 🙂
Why do we deny ourselves the little things that make us feel joy and relaxation? I don’t know. Perhaps it’s a part of the human condition..that hole in your soul that cannot be explained.
But I hope to change that.
So Cheers to good changes 🙂
Sending you lots of love,
Will be updating the blog with a fashion post or two soon so stay tuned!
xxxo Aarti Olivia