Ready to Stare

Hey loves,

today I am wearing an outfit from a store I love, owned by the awesome Alysse Dalessandro, a contemporary fat feminist icon. Ready To Stare is an empowering fat fashion brand with gorgeous statement clothing and accessories. Alysse by the way, is an accomplished writer for sites like Bustle and On the Plus Side.

The statement on this dress is EVERYTHING and it is oh so true.


Feminist: not a term I shy away from. It is through being a feminist (probably since my teens) that I even considered body positivity and plus size fashion. Because Feminism reminds us that there isn’t just One female archetype that is allowed to reign supreme. Intersectional Feminism extends that concept further by promoting diversity, inclusivity for women (whether they were born female, or not. If they identify as female, they are welcome). It’s also not like the men are excluded. While we strive for equity, we would like to work with men. We’re not man bashers, ya know.

So many stereotypes are slammed upon this term, with little understanding for why it matters. So many women run far away from declaring themselves Feminist, out of the fear of being viewed in a bad light. But it is Feminism that has garnered them the rights they do not think twice about.

The right to vote.

The right to work in industries that previously would not have seen women partaking in, because they were ‘male-oriented’.

In so many parts of the world, Feminism weaves its ways into forming supportive communities, tribes of women. For the women who don’t have the luxuries that some of us were born with. To be granted rights to better pay for hard labour. To be granted better living conditions from the ones they were trapped in. To be rescued from abusive families, husbands. To be taught skills to gain an identity of self, instead of existing as the roles typically demanded of them – daughters, wives, mothers.

The fat reach and support of feminism is often more subtle than you think. While we have big personalities who lend their voice to the cause, we also have women like you and I who do our bit as womenkind to nurture, uplift, support one another.

Which is why, I really really dig this statement dress 🙂


Now this isn’t an attempt to bring you over to the Dark Side hahaha! Like all things in life, this is a choice every woman makes. While I do believe that Feminism is something All women should work together with, it should never be forced upon. Live and Let Live.  Now if only more people would abide by that statement!


This dress is Incredibly comfortable, so comfortable that it feels like second skin. The back is revealing so if you’re bashful, a camisole underneath will do the trick. I wore a black bandeau underneath. This is in a size 3X – it comes in this size. I don’t care for figure hugging clothing all of the time. I certainly dislike the term ‘flattering’ because I believe in “if you like, just wear it”.

Here’s the view from the back


 

Little Details 


I acquired a new eyeshadow palette this month and went with a more natural look save for the eyes – there is the hint of cat eye lined by black eyeshadow – which is one of the few ways I can draw those lines without making mistakes!

I actually lined the red Revlon lipstick  with a black lipstick – I didn’t want to go too matchy with this look! That fake septum ring is so gorgeous and even prettier in person – I can never use a real one thanks to my sinuses. That’s why I don’t have nose piercings, as much as I would love to. Been there, tried them 3 times and they were disasters for this allergy-prone nose.

The New Wave: Intersectional Feminism

If you’ve been anywhere around the Internet, You are aware of Intersectional Feminism. Here’s a simplified explanation:


As a firm believer of Intersectional Feminism, it is important that factors that impact our lives such as race, gender, ability, age among others are sum of the whole picture of feminism. There can be no feminism if there is no inclusivity.


While women are still (to me displeasure) known as the fairer sex, we demand to be rid of the shackles of patriarchal rules. Such as the kind of body a woman should have, the types of clothing she should wear, the kind of occupation she should have, the kind of traits and faith she should have. None of which you’d see me having a dilemma over because of How I ‘should exist and behave’ as a woman.

Which is why I work so hard at reminding you to embrace the person that you are. If you have the opportunity to make your own decisions, make them. If you’re concerned for what people will say, don’t be – it’s Your life. If you’re afraid dressing or behaving a certain way will attract the wrong attention ask yourself, is that My fault or Theirs? (Right answer: the latter).


It pains me to read about women slaving in sweatshops with minimal wage and terrible working conditions in order to survive. Yes, I call it slavery – This is modern slavery as we know it. When women are harassed on the streets and on the Internet, that is abuse. When women are denied a level pay with that of their male colleagues, that is sexism personified. How is a woman’s effort lesser than that of a man’s. How is her value lesser? How are girl childs less miraculous? Why are girls still considered second class?


Imagine this. Being an Indian girl who is denied rights in school, at home and the work force. Or a worried Black Mother who fears the safety of her sons and daughters Everyday. Or the Muslim receptionist who gets taunted and hated for wearing a hijab. An aboriginal native teen is judged for not being ‘cultured’ like the Caucasians. A Chinese baby girl is considered bad luck because they had been praying for a boy to bring them prosperity. A Bangladeshi sweat shop worker who just wants to bring home a proper salary to feed her family. A boy who decides he identifies as a girl and end up getting abused for being a ‘sissy’. A skinny girl who pinches her skin and sobs at her reflection in the mirror. A fat girl who hides beneath long sleeved clothing and cracking fat girl jokes at her own expense, while she cries into her pillow at night.


In a world that appraises its technological advances, cosmopolitan living, equal opportunities and Self Love as a popular mantra, why are women still fighting to be heard? I can assure you we don’t want to be complaining or making a fuss. The simple truth is there is much work to be done. And it starts with You and I. We cannot all don invisible capes and be the next Malala (bless her beautiful soul), but we most certainly Can effect important change around us if we decide to live for something larger than ourselves.

Chat Soon xx

P.S: I know this wasn’t a typical Curves Become Her fashion post but I wanted to write about this for quite a while.

P.P.S: Be kind to yourselves and each other

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6 thoughts on “Ready to Stare

  1. That dress looks great and thanks so much for this post, I hate it when you get the side eye for saying you’re a feminist (because it means you hate men – right??) Also I love that striped triangle comic about intersectional feminism – so good!

    1. I’m Glad you liked the dress and post! 😀
      I loved that comic and knew it was the easiest way to explain intersectional feminism without using jargon! Much love from one feminist to another ❤

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